16 October 2011

Indignance in the face of Intelligent AI

Monkeys.  I hate them.
I don't like monkeys.  I don't like dolphins either.  Why?  Because I think they think they're smarter than us, and they're not.  When I see a monkey doing anything vaguely human-like, I feel threatened.

So you can imagine how I felt when I heard the news that IBM had finally developed AI that could beat human players at Pong.  They are being referred to as "cognitive computer chips", and one of these cognitive computers actually learned to play (and beat humans at) Pong.

I was even more alarmed at the suggestion that a freeware Pong clone IBM developed back in 2006 may have made us unwitting beta-testers for this technology over the past five years.  Indignant, I immediately booted up the game, determined to assert my gaming supremacy over this so-called "intelligence".  The first time around, the AI beat me 15-12.  I was furious and tried again.  This time:

Take that, you little mongrel!
I was overjoyed at having beaten the little blighter, but still, the fear that there's another, more powerful Pong rival out there still lingers.

Perhaps we're not so bright after all.  If it's one thing I've learned from Terminator, we're the only ones dumb enough to build something better than us in every conceivable way.

You can play IBM Tennis here.  If you dare.

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