An Idea for the Inevitable Wii Fit 2.

I'm currently undertaking a "challenge" at work as part of my employer's health and wellbeing inititiative.  It's basically a competition to see which team can walk the most steps over a 10-week period.  Now, everyone in my immediate vicinity knows that I walk to and from work regardless, so they attached a pedometer to me and elected me their captain.  And it's actually quite surprising how many steps I do clock up during a weekday.  So each day we log the number of steps we have taken the day before, reset our pedometers, and get back to walking again.  Each step logged puts our team closer to a virtual goal on the map, which I guess you could say is the finish line if you didn't get to keep moving it once you've reached it.

Anyway, all of this business has got me to thinking about Wii Fit 2 and how it could function more as the fitness hub it's always wanted to be.  My suggestion would be to include a pedometer with the game.  The player would go for a walk around the neighbourhood, or to and from work, then log their steps in Wii Fit 2, putting them a little bit closer towards some virtual goal or other.  Players could join teams (or 'clans', if you will) and compete in online leaderboards, perhaps even in a virtual race around the world's equator (or to the moon!).  That way you're encouraging people to be active and go outside, but you're encouraging them to come back to the game as well.  It could encourage a sense of community between like-minded people, using individual play to work towards a common goal, in a similar fashion to Noby Noby Boy.  Sure beats the hell out of jogging on the spot with a Wiimote in your back pocket.

First Wuhu Island, and then the world!  Muwahahahahaa!!

I'm sure this could be applied to other activities as well.  I just think that if the inevitable Wii Fit sequel seeks to be relevant, it needs to work itself into our lives rather than try to distract us from it, in a similar fashion to Personal Trainer: Cooking.  And that means emphasising its role as a hub rather than the be-all and end-all of fitness programs.

Like Washington Crossing the Delaware.

This is a long shot, and it will likely never happen, but I think that Animal Crossing should become the Wii's new interface a la PS3's Home.

It would be a great interface for user-created content to be exchanged: fashion, music and Miis for instance. Check Mii Out could be replaced with weekly beauty pageants in your town. Virtual console games could be played on consoles in your AC home. Your town bulletin board would become your Wii Message Board, and you could send letters to your friends from the post office. It would integrate the entire Wii experience, blurring the distinction between menu and game.

Like I said, it'll never happen, but do you think it's a good idea?

A.I.Q.

When I was in the shower yesterday [not that I didn't take a shower today, mind you], I was thinking about Artificial Intelligence in videogames, as you do. Specifically, I was thinking about how cheap it really is, and how far it has to go.


Every game is a God-game.

By way of an analogy, imagine that God is your worst enemy [if you're a Satanist or a raging atheist, you may not need to imagine at all!] and that you must use everything at your disposal to defeat him. Problem is, God made everything and knows where all the items are at all times. He knows every possible use for every possible item, all of your moves and abilities, and effective counter-maneuvers for each of your potential attacks. Sound unfair? Well, that's basically a videogame in a nutshell.


Hmmm...look at all the pretty coloured arrows!

In the government, there is what we call a 'separation of powers' (pictured above). It's what keeps the system honest. You have the executive powers given to the Prime Minister or Head of State, the judicial powers given to the High Court, and the legislative powers invested in the Parliament. If you're from the good ol' US of A, just substitute the words 'President', 'Supreme Court' and 'Congress' into the previous sentence. In videogames, there's none of that.

Now that I've successfully bored you with a double-whammy of politics and religion, let's get back to the videogames. Quite frankly, I think that the A.I. in videogames sucks. Now, I don't pretend to understand the technical ins and outs of Artificial Intelligence, but when Ryu KO's you in four punches, you know something's amiss. The computer's team is always a tightly run ship, a hive-mind of players that control with individual precision, and share exactly the same goals. Like an autistic child, the A.I. has no theory of mind - it doesn't wonder what the other player is thinking or planning, it knows. It doesn't need to 'watch' your actions closely and respond on the fly - it knows exactly what you've done as soon as you pressed the button, and it has a pre-scripted action to respond with. We'd never have beaten a videogame if it weren't for developer-imposed handicaps such as poor aim, slow running, reduced damage, and smaller health bars - all shortcomings that seem to carry over on those blasted escort missions.


I'm Escort Mission, remember me? We had some swell times together, didn't we?

It is for all these reasons and more that I call for a 'separation of powers' for all videogame A.I. Your NPC's A.I. should not be controlled by the same A.I. that is hunting you both down with a Kalishnakov, nor should Mr. Kalishnakov generate the level he should be exploring. The goalie shouldn't know that the full back intends to pass the ball back to him until he sees the ball being passed back to him. Chun Li shouldn't somersault over my hadouken because I entered 'down, diagonal, right + hard punch', but because she 'sees' a fireball flying towards her.

Whether this would necessitate the use of multiple CPUs is outside of my expertise, but doubtless it would require many hours of intense programming. It would be an ambitious undertaking to say the least, but the reason it seems so daunting is that so little headway has been made over the years. Other aspects of game development - graphics, sound, controls, even story - have been moving ahead in leaps and bounds, while A.I. is still in its infancy. With photorealism firmly within our grasp, and recorded soundtracks that dwarf some Hollywood productions, where else is there to go? The future must be with A.I.


Does videogame A.I. leave you wanting? Do escort missions piss you off? Can SkyNet be stopped in time? Drop your pennies below!

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Christopher Nolan Treatment.

With recent iterations of the Big Blue swinging swords on Wii and howling at a blood red moon on PS360, it's a difficult time for the true believers. That's why I propose that Christopher Nolan direct the next, next Sonic title. Based on his recent efforts with the Dark Knight, here's what I think he would do:

1. Scrap everything and start over.
We all wish we could forget the Joel Schumacher films, and likewise we'd like to forget nearly every 3D Sonic game we've ever played. Chris Nolan couldn't do the former, so he gave us the next best thing: a reboot. Our spiny friend is in dire need of one. Up the arse.


Believe it or not, Sonic and the Black Knight is a step in the wrong direction.

2. Respect for the source material.
Nolan knew something that other director's didn't: a lot of comics are extremely well-written. So why not look to them for inspiration and story ideas? It's no coincidence that Begins and Dark Knight represent not only the brimming potential of the comic book film medium, but also the most faithful adaptations of their source material. It's also no coincidence that the greatest Sonic titles were the first three games. Why not look to them for inspiration? All that people want is a good 2D Sonic game again, and we *thought* we were getting that with Unleashed...

Think again.

Nolan mined the rich history of Batman comics for the strongest characters, storylines, and even dialogue to bring us his first two Bat-films. The same kind of consolidation needs to be done for the Big Blue Blur. His most successful efforts have been the 2D Megadrive titles - shouldn't that be sending some kind of message to Sega and Sonic Team? More of the same, please!

3. Strip back all the ridiculous elements and keep it grounded.
To its credit, The Dark Knight featured none of these characters: Bat-Mite, Great White Shark, Dr. Phosphorous, Batzarro, Cluemaster, Killer Moth, Tweedledee & Tweedledum, Magpie, the Calculator [he literally dressed up as a pocket calculator], The Fearsome Foot-Fighters, Film Freak, look - you get the idea. There were the infamous 'big prop' Batman stories in the 40s and 50s, which later inspired a story whereby Batman & Robin fought Deadshot atop a giant typewriter! Then there's all the Bat-gadgets, which Batman always seems to have at just the right moment (Bat-shark-repellent). Sonic of course has his ridiculous moments, most of which have surfaced within the last decade. The voice acting in particular is even worse than what I've heard in some Kung-Fu movie dubs, and has almost become its trademark. He also has a terrible cast of supporting players: Amy Rose, Big the Cat, Cream the Rabbit, Rouge the Bat, Shadow the Hedgehog, Silver the Hedgehog, Someone the Something, the list goes on. Do you see what I'm getting at here? The Bat mythos as a whole is full of camp and goofy Silver Age elements, yet Nolan had the good sense to either remove those elements or avoid them altogether. Of course, if you're comics savant Grant Morrison, you'll find some way to marry all of these elements with a brilliant modern twist, but Nolan's no Morrison, and neither is Sonic Team. So what was so good about the Golden Age of Sonic games? No Z-list characters for a start; no terrible voice acting; no J-Pop/Rock music - just fast 2D platforming with great level design, really. It's not a magic formula or anything, it just puts the focus back on Sonic.


Batman's return to form.

Nolan came at a time when DC and Batman desperately needed him. Similarly, Sega and Sonic are in a dire state, and in desperate need of the Chris Nolan Treatment. Sure, it's a pipe dream and it'll never happen, but if I can sit here and learn videogame lessons from a Batman movie, so can Sonic Team.